


Like he, who looks for stellar measures.

by mamimi (hyemiyah)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen, M/M, Platonic Relationships, Post-Canon, asahi is a space nerd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 14:03:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7535629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyemiyah/pseuds/mamimi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was clear to Asahi then, why everyone in the team called Suga by his full last name with an honorific at the end. Why it was Asahi-san and Daichi-san, but it has always been Sugawara-san. Even if he wasn't the captain, or the starting setter, Suga was always a step ahead of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like he, who looks for stellar measures.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [killuazcldyck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/killuazcldyck/gifts).



> Dear recipient,  
> I really hope you enjoy this.  
> Many thanks to Ansa, for the constant cheering and the virtual hugs.  
> To Isamu, for putting up with my silly late night questions.  
> And to Alicia, ALWAYS<3

Asahi didn't cry at the graduation ceremony like almost everyone on the Karasuno team had predicted. In fact, nobody cried. Asahi just _wasn't present_ , somehow. It was as if his soul ascended and everything was happening to someone else. As if he were watching the movie of his life; except his life was happening right in front of him. 

Daichi, however, turned his back on the team, covered his face with his forearm, and stood there muttering things like 'thank you' and 'you idiots'. Asahi should have seen it coming. They had been incredibly secretive, and by incredibly secretive he means it had been completely obvious they were scheming something. But the third years were busy with graduation as it was. Finals and university letters and plans of becoming flatmates were their priorities.

As Asahi watched Daichi's back and heard him try to keep his voice steady while he half scolded the kids for spending club money to throw a surprise farewell party for the third years, he felt in the moment, all of a sudden. It dawned on him they had graduated and were no longer part of _this team._ That they will never be able to play for the team he had devoted himself to for three years. He felt the hot tears welling up in his eyes before he was able to realise that he was about to cry. So he gritted his teeth in an effort to keep his cool, despite Tanaka bawling at Tsukishima that he wasn't crying, that he just had something hurting his eyes. It was a mess, after that, Hinata and Yamaguchi started crying, too, while Ennoshita tried to comfort them like little kids. 

To his right, Suga stood, majestic and composed. He was looking at Daichi with a fondness Asahi knew he only reserved for special occasions. His eyes were dry, and the smile he gave Asahi when he turned sideways to look at him was a genuine one. 

It was clear to Asahi then, why everyone in the team called Suga by his full last name with an honorific at the end. Why it was Asahi-san and Daichi-san, but it has always been Sugawara-san. Even if he wasn't the captain, or the starting setter, Suga was always a step ahead of them. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

☆☆☆

 

 

  


 

"Do you think we'll have enough space for all of my books?" Asahi asks Daichi as he steps into the room, carefully avoiding the piles of books on the floor. "I can't decide which ones I want to take with me." He stares at the book in his hands, _Cosmos,_ he _definitely_  needs to take that one with him. Daichi is awfully quiet, and that makes Asahi look. "What's wrong?" He asks, chuckling a little and rubbing the back of his neck. "These are too many books, right? Don't worry, I'll just pick the ones I really need." Asahi has never been good with Daichi, he should 'stand his ground' as Suga often told him, but it was easier said than done. Especially with Daichi. 

"It's okay, Asahi." Daichi says in a solemn voice; one that Asahi has come to know means he's about to make an important announcement. "I have some news." He takes a deep breath and exhales loudly, then hesitates a bit. It makes Asahi nervous.

"Where's Suga?" Asahi asks. It's not normal for Daichi to come to the Azumane residence alone. In fact, he can't recall a time when it was only him and Daichi in Asahi's room. 

"About Suga," Daichi begins. He clears his throat and looks nervously at Asahi as he continues. "He's got a scholarship to Tokyo University so he won't be moving with us."   

Judging by the way Daichi is looking at him, Asahi can tell he's making a shocked face. But who can blame him; it's impossible to control your face when you receive news like this. 

"But it'll be okay," Daichi says reassuringly, but he's never been good in dealing with an appalled Asahi. "I mean, how bad could it be, right?" He makes a weird sound, something as if he were trying to chuckle lightly, to clear the air. It's completely disconcerting. Asahi is sure he still has a weird facial expression.  

"Right." He says, just to spare Daichi. He tries to relax his face, but he's not sure if it works. 

Suga is not going to live with them in Tokyo. It'll be just Asahi and Daichi in a tiny flat. Everything is terrible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

☆☆☆

 

 

 

 

 

  
"So you heard," Suga tells him on the phone that evening. "Sorry I sent Daichi to deliver the news. I just thought it was a good opportunity for you two to bond. I also had some things to take care of... Asahi?"

"Ah, yes. I'm here." Asahi tries not to sound too disappointed. He knows Suga worked hard to earn that scholarship. He knows he should be happy for his friend, but he can't help but feel a bit sad about it. It's all of his worst nightmares coming true. Why hadn't Asahi dreamt big? Maybe if he had applied for the scholarship, he'd have got it, too. "Congratulations, Suga. You've worked hard."

It's not a lie. At least not completely. And if there's any indication of Suga noticing the way Asahi's voice wavered, he doesn't mention it. Instead he makes a delighted noise and Asahi can feel him beaming on the other side of the line. 

Even so, Asahi is dreading his university life already. He's going to share a flat with Daichi. They'll have breakfast, lunch and dinner together. Probably they'll have to go grocery shopping together. It's going to be super awkward. Asahi hates life. 

Then, as if reading his mind, Suga says, "I know it'll be super awkward with just the two of you, Asahi. But don't worry! I'll visit you guys often. We're only going to be like a 30-minute train ride away from each other." 

"Yeah, I know." Asahi agrees, just because he's never been able to disagree with him. 

 

  


 

 

That night, Asahi lays awake on his bed, thinking about the galaxy he calls Sugawara Koushi. About the stars and constellations that form in the vast expanse that is Suga's Milky Way skin, and his heart tugs at the fact that he is a billion light years away from Asahi.

 

  


 

 

The first couple of months in college happen too fast for Asahi to realise what's really happening, and when he comes to, they're already having their first mid-terms. If he first thought he'd have to endure having painfully awkward meals with Daichi, he was wrong. Daichi signs up and makes onto the volleyball team, while Asahi prefers not to take any extracurricular activities. Life on campus is overwhelming. Everyone is always in a hurry. Asahi has never been good with being fast in places that are not a volleyball court.

Most nights, Asahi goes for a quick trip to the convenience store and buys himself something to eat. Sometimes he buys something for Daichi, too. Though he comes home when Asahi is already asleep, and when Asahi leaves in the morning, Daichi is still sleeping. Often Daichi will leave a note for Asahi, even if all of their notes say the same thing: a simple 'thanks' in Daichi's miniature handwriting. 

Suga visits them one Sunday afternoon and nags at Asahi to tend to himself a bit better and at Daichi to not be too firm with Asahi. Probably thinking Asahi's careless look is due to stressing about homework, moving away from home, and Daichi. 

"I don't even have time to eat properly, when will even find time to be firm on Asahi," Daichi counterattacks. It feels like old times to Asahi all of a sudden. Suga and Daichi bickering about this or the other. Referring to the rest of the team as 'kids', Asahi included. 

"Then why does he look so... _unkempt_?" It's said in the most untainted way, but it still hurts Asahi. Does he really look that bad? I mean, it's true he hasn't shaved in like a week, and he is in dire need of a haircut, but he didn't know it was _that bad_.

"I have no idea. You know, we barely see each other." Daichi says between a mouthful of katsudon.

Suga stops eating and looks up at Daichi. "What!? But you live together." 

"We have different schedules." Asahi has most of his classes in the morning, while Daichi has his in the afternoon. 

"But you _live together_."  Suga says indignantly. He's put his chopsticks down, which means he's being serious now. Daichi, on the other hand, keeps calmly eating.

"Yeah, well. I come home late at night and Asahi leaves early in the morning. I don't know what else to tell you."

"That makes no sense. You still share a living space. A tiny living space. How was this supposed to fit three people? I'm suffocating already." Suga has a point. They should've checked out the flat in person before moving in. If Suga had moved in with them, he'd have had to share a room with either Daichi or him. And though he's fine with eating alone all the time, Asahi knows he also wouldn't have minded to share late night meals with Suga. Even if that means he'd have had to endure Daichi and him bickering, or Suga's sucker punching him whenever he's being ridiculous.

"Hey! When we found out you bailed on us, we decided to bring more of our stuff." 

"Thanks for the consideration." Suga looks genuinely hurt. 

" _You_ bailed on _us_." Daichi repeats, without bothering to look up from his bowl of rice.

"That doesn't explain why Asahi looks so dishevelled." Suga makes a grand hand gesture, but his eyes are still focused on Daichi.

"Guys, I'm right here." Asahi says; he's been watching the back and forth bantering without eating. But if they ever want to make it through dinner they need to be stopped. 

As if on cue, Daichi and Suga turn their heads at him, seemingly oblivious of his presence. They mutter a quiet apology and forget the issue. Asahi can feel Suga's gaze on him though, and he has the sudden urge to go to the bathroom and shave all of his facial hair. And then run to the nearest salon and cut his hair short. 

 

 

 

  


The rest of the evening continues uneventfully. Since Suga brought the meals, Asahi and Daichi are in charge of cleaning up the waste. 

Suga claims it's been a while since they hung out together—the three of them—and demands to watch a film. Something with a simple plot and lots of action scenes since they're all tired. Asahi thinks about going for a quick run to the convenience store and buying ice cream, but ever since dinner Daichi has been awfully quiet. Even though the idea of running as far away from his former teammates is tempting, he knows better. So he offers to sit down on the floor while Suga and Daichi take the tiny couch. 

Daichi might be in a bad mood, but at least he's doing this with them. He goes to his room to retrieve his laptop, since they're two broke college guys and can't afford a TV. Then opens Netflix and lets Suga decide what to watch. Asahi has never been good when the two of them fight, and what's worst about it this time is that he's going to have to deal with a moody Daichi for a while. And as much as Suga can pretend he's over it, Asahi knows he's going to send him endless texts badmouthing Daichi and asking him to please take better care of himself and to not let Daichi boss him around. Probably he'll send Asahi articles about the way to have a good relationship with your flatmate, even though Daichi and him are just fine. 

The film Suga picks is a classic, _Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift_. It's tacky and it's terrible, but they all love it, somehow. At the opening credits, Suga grabs Asahi's shoulders from where he is standing, stiff, on the floor, and makes him rest his back on his legs. 

"It's a long one," he says, "You're going to get cramps."

"Thanks." The room is hot, all of a sudden. Asahi can feel a blush creeping up his neck. He's lucky the lights are off and he has his back turned on his friends. Otherwise he'd be mortified for years. But then he picks up a foreign scent, something woody and bittersweet. He realises it’s Suga’s and thinks about the way Suga used to smell before—the same way most of their teammates smelled, the scent of whatever laundry detergent was on sale on the supermarket, but Suga always had a sort of citrus smell lingering on him. Asahi never found out what it was. 

He hears Suga and even Daichi chuckling or complain about the actors doing an awful job, but all Asahi can think of is how there are things he doesn't know about Suga now. It's only been a couple of months and already so much has changed between them. It's only inevitable that they grow apart as time goes by. 

As he hears his friends laugh at the screen Asahi wonders if Daichi's missed Suga as much as he did. If he feels his absence in this tiny flat the same way he feels it: more than he'd felt his presence, if Suga had moved in with them.

 

 

 

 

 

☆☆☆

 

 

 

 

  
  
Asahi has always been called a coward. He's tall and strong looking, but he's also terrified of life in general. So when volleyball practices started to become harder and tougher, he often thought about quitting. Especially during the nights, when he'd get terrible cramps in his arms and legs. His coach used to tell him it was only natural, since he was making good use of his muscles and he was probably growing taller while he was at it. But Asahi dreaded those endless nights and the unbearable pain. 

Yet, he stayed in the club. And he can't deny he did it because he loved the way Suga's tosses felt on his palm. And the satisfaction when he slammed the ball on the other side of the court is still one of the things he wouldn't change for anything in the world. 

 

 

 

 

 

☆☆☆

 

 

 

 

 

It takes two weeks of gathered up courage, a haircut, and 6 calls from Suga for Asahi to make the trip to Suga's dorm. 

"Now, that's more like it." Suga says as he spots him from where he's waiting at the entrance. "I was starting to worry about letting you live with Daichi." He points it out. As if Asahi were the child they fight over after a nasty divorce. 

"Daichi is good." Asahi states lamely. He doesn't know why he goes along with this stupid game. Maybe years of overexposure have broken something in his brain. He sounds as if he were defending Daichi—he _totally_ is—in a 'living with dad is not so bad, mum' way. "We're a good team." This is said out of spite or something like it, because on the short way to the elevator, Suga has said hi to almost everyone they have bumped into. 

However, it falls flat on Suga's ears. It shouldn't have. Before college, Suga was able to tell when Asahi was feeling distressed or sad just by the sound of his voice, but a lot can happen when you go to a different college and meet new people. 

The elevator opens and Oikawa Tooru, Seijou's former captain and star setter, walks out. "Sugawara-kun." He says, not taking notice of Asahi, the way beautiful and popular people do in the most natural way. "Didn't we just bump into each other in the common room like half an hour ago?" 

"Oikawa-kun." Suga says, steady and calm. Oikawa still scares the crap out of Asahi, so he tries to hide behind Suga. "Yeah, I just came down to wait for Asahi."

"Ah." Oikawa finally takes notice of Asahi and bows a little in his general direction—which is also Suga's direction, since Asahi still has half of his massive body behind him. "Yes, Asahi-kun. Karasuno's ace." He turns back at Suga, at Asahi's half muted greeting. "So Sugawara-kun, did you finally finished tomorrow's essay?" 

"I did, though I won't lie, it was harder than I thought. I'm scared just to see what the professor has in mind for the rest of the semester." 

Asahi focuses on the elevator doors, the ones that have been kept open by Oikawa blocking them with his body. He wants to forget this meeting ever happened, and the dawning realisation that Oikawa and Suga are in the same university and, apparently, share the same class. Or classes. He doesn't know yet and he doesn't know if he ever wants to. 

Oikawa makes a distressed sound. "Ugh, I know. I haven't even finished writing this one. I may have to pull an all-nighter. Why did I even bother with this class?" 

"For the credit?" Suga deadpans. Oikawa makes a face at him and Suga laughs. Actually laughs. At Oikawa. Are they flirting? And a more pressing matter: are they flirting _in front of Asahi?_

"Well, I'll leave you two kids now. Have fun with your little family meeting."

For some reason they watch Oikawa's retreat, before finally entering the elevator. Asahi watches Suga press the number 9 button. Suga hums cheerily as they ride all the way up the 9th floor and Asahi silently stares at Suga's hands. His beautiful, delicate hands with his long, elegant fingers. He remembers how they were often calloused and taped, how Suga's knuckles—and the skin that surround his nails—were easily hurt and bloody after practice.

"Are you and Oikawa close now?" Asahi blurts out. His question is half muted by the ding sound of the elevator's doors opening, but Suga hears him alright.

"I don't think people become close with Oikawa-kun that easily." Suga says, maybe a bit regretfully. "But we're sort of neighbours. And we have two classes together." 

Asahi can only nod in approval, though he doesn't necessarily approve of the situation. But they're not in high school any more, they don't even go to the same university. The only thing Asahi and Suga have in common is that they once played volleyball for the same team. Sometimes, Asahi wonders if he could've ever become friends with someone like Sugawara Koushi if not for the club. It's a dreadful thing to think about, but it's becoming more evident now that Suga was destined for greatness while Asahi was destined to an average job that he'll realise later in life, he hates. 

Suga's room is at the end of the narrow hall. Asahi waits for him to unlock the door and as soon as it's opened, he's greeted with an unfamiliar scent. The same one from that time they were watching a film together in Asahi's flat. As he enters the tiny room, the scent is stronger; it makes Asahi uncomfortable. If there ever was any indication that Suga was moving on without them, it's clear now. Asahi doesn't know how a new scent can explain something as complex as life, but it somehow does.

He once read that flowers smell different in space. It had something to do with several environmental factors—like temperature and humidity. Sure, technically speaking, Suga and him are still living in the same city, and he doesn't think the humidity in Miyagui is much different than the one in Tokyo. And well, yes, Suga has never been in space, but to Asahi, he still counts as a flower and he's still a million miles away.

Like that flower from _The Little Prince_. 

As Suga looks for his laptop under a pile of clothes, Asahi remains awkwardly standing by the door. He hasn't even taken off his shoes yet and he is instead trying to think of excuses to flee. They were supposed to be watching _Fast Five_ this afternoon, but Asahi is not sure he'll able to endure sitting next to Suga for two hours, when he's suddenly so foreign beside him. 

Before Suga realises what's going on, Asahi mutters a quick apology and storms out of the room and into the emergency stairwell. He can hear Suga's voice calling his name in the distance, but he hates the feeling in his gut—uncertainty, fear, and something worse. Something bitter like jealousy.

It's petty and childish, Asahi is very much aware of that. But if Suga tamed him, he should be responsible, forever, for what he tamed. 

 

 

 

 

 

☆☆☆

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey, have you contacted Suga yet?" Daichi surprises Asahi as he's leaving for his early morning class. "Please do it soon or I'll die of tiredness and sleep deprivation. He keeps calling me late at night asking about you." 

"Good morning to you, too." Asahi replies. He is aware of what he did and about the consequences of his actions. But he just can't face Suga right now. Not even via Line. Daichi does look like hell, though. "You can go back to sleep now. I'll text him later." The last bit is a lie. Daichi probably knows it's a lie, too. Asahi should thank volleyball Jesus because apparently, Daichi is too tired to try to manipulate Asahi into doing what he wants. Or what Suga wants. Although what Suga and Daichi want has been the same thing since the beginning of time. 

"Just call the idiot." Still, Daichi wouldn't be Daichi if he didn't press. "He's worried about you, you know." 

Asahi feels his face go warm at this. He knows he's being selfish and unreasonable. There is no exact reason why he wouldn't reply to Suga's Line messages or calls, and yet he feels incredibly uneasy when he sees Suga's caller ID. 

Suga should just give Asahi some time to get over whatever this is. And the worst thing about it is that now Asahi can't read Karasuno's group chat—the one Tanaka and Nishinoya lamely named 'senpais<3'. It was one of the only pleasures he had in his miserable college life, but he doesn't want Suga to see him lurking there. He misses their weekly pictures (oftentimes daily) of their club activities, with captions like 'look how cute the first years are, even if they still suck', or 'Hinata is still shorter than all of the first years'.

Even Tsukishima is in it. 

 

 

 

 

 

☆☆☆

 

 

 

 

 

Asahi comes home that afternoon to an angry Suga. As he is sucker punched and called an ungrateful beard, he decides he needs better flatmates. 

"I called you like, a hundred times!" Suga says. His voice is loud and nonchalant, but Asahi notes an underlying layer of hurt and sadness. He feels awful.

"You did." Is all he can say because he knows Suga is not looking for an apology. He's looking for the reason behind his weird behaviour. 

" I really did." Suga smiles fondly, stepping aside to let Asahi into the flat. He doesn't ask what happened. He didn't ask what had happened in his messages either. Asahi knows he was giving him space in his own way, which means he was conning him with random talk until he was ready to spill the beans. It was the reason why Asahi was keeping a distance. He knew once he faced Suga, he was going to have to talk about it. Whatever it was.

"So," Asahi begins. "What brings you here?" He tries to keep his tone light, but he fails miserably. He's too anxious now that Suga is in sitting next to him on the couch. 

"I called. I texted. I even called Daichi and bullied him until he let me into your flat to wait for you." Suga's voice wavers a little, as if he were moving into uncharted waters. It's completely unseeming of him.  The next time he speaks, his voice is softer. "Probably you were killing yourself, thinking we had all abandoned you. That you were being left behind. That Oikawa-kun was my new best friend and you were done for, didn't you? And don't you dare lie to me, Asahi. Your lies will be written all over your beard." He turns to look at Asahi, whose mouth is most likely hanging open, and there's nothing but fondness in his eyes. 

It's nothing but the truth, and it makes Asahi's heart drop. Here he was, thinking terrible things about his friends, while they were worried about him. He's still unable to verbalise or process his thoughts in a rational way.

Suga laughs and it's as glorious as always. Asahi can't help but laugh, too. "I need a hobby," he says, and that makes Suga laugh harder. 

"You mean besides worrying about useless things and having weird ideas?" Suga elbows him softly. "Silly beard."

 The first time Asahi finished reading _Cosmos,_ he came up with this weird theory that some people are drawn to each other because their atoms were near each other when the universe was created. And over time the same atoms keep coming back together. He looks at Suga's beauty mark, the one below his left eye, and thinks about stars. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from Prose from the Observatory by Julio Cortázar.  
> [Credit for the theory about atoms. ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/db/7d/18/db7d18e8242c1622583edf0ec5f56a4a.jpg)


End file.
